This is an old post from a previous outlet, written in March 2017 and brought back for fun as an April Fool’s Day joke for today. It comes from a time when I wrote fake news articles, so … enjoy?
New country singer Cole Bryan Young is quickly working to establish his “country cred” with the mean old farts and jackasses who have been skeptical so far. Young constantly namedrops great country legends like Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard, and Waylon Jennings, and now has some legitimate proof that he was, indeed, influenced by them.
Per Young, “I was told by my record lab … er … I mean, read in a history book somewhere that Hank Williams always told his band to do things ‘vanilla,’ and that’s why he’s been such a big influence on me. I mean, after all, how else are you going to make it big at country radio if you aren’t vanilla? Blake Shelton, Brett Eldredge, and Chris Young have all made careers by being van … oh, wait, scratch that one. Seriously, don’t write that one down!”
Furthermore, Young also states that the themes he sings about aren’t extremely different from those than the ones Williams sang about in his time on Earth.
“I’ve heard people say that Hank sang about a lot of sad stuff, but I listened to one song of his, ‘Jambalaya,’ and, like, he was having a ton of fun partying and stuff. I mean, isn’t that what life is all about? Hanging with friends … that’s where it’s at, man. That’s exactly the inspiration for songs of mine like “The Truck Stops Here” and especially “Cow Tippin’ (and Skinny Dippin’).” I just knew I had to check out more of Hank’s stuff … eventually.”
When asked his opinion on whether or not Williams could have continued to be a star had he not met his tragic end so soon, Young drew a blank face, sat into space for about forty-five seconds, and replied, “I don’t know, 2016 was a real bummer year for celebrity deaths but, I mean, he was probably too old for radio to play anyway next to guys like me.”
When asked what his favorite Williams song was, Young replied that he didn’t know, but that it was “probably ‘Country Boy Can Survive.’ ”
When asked for a favorite Williams album, Young said he’d “have to think about that one,” since, “after all, there are just so many to choose from.”
The Musical Divide 